And This is How I'll End

So the question remains
Like a tuneless melody
Two bars of a dull refrain
Echo over the brazen
Toy soldier that is my life.

I can't feel pain
No, no.
I can't feel love
I only know
Godless,
Soulless,
Heartless,
Indecision.

God why does this happen to me?
Freedom.
My claim becomes my claimant,
Binding me with
Shackles of virtue.

"Do these things"
So I take my medicine,
Down goes the dose
To join the rest of my stomach in
Unsettled anticipation.

I keep waiting for life to happen
And it keeps passing me by
I know I'll only live once
But I'm too scared to die

And I can't rewind the movie
This reel goes only one way
What a horrible box to be shoved into
My cell of cardboard feelings.

So yeah,

Happy birthday anyway.

Steadfast
I'm quicker
Than when I run.

When I have
Height advantage
I blot out the sun.

And when I
Instigate the dialogue
There is no stopping the discussion.

Smells Like Coke

She lies,

Crushed, but not fragile
A vessel for
Sweet life
Like a knife through my stomach
And a needle to my mind
She tears my eyelids open

To devour

My thoughts.

Sure she shows
My wake, in throes
Of what I chose
Don't

Even think about it.

I'm not paranoid
Just trying to
Fill the void
Stave the crave
And stop my inner infant
From squirming
While I tighten the noose.

Morbid, right?
Relax.

I've got my fix.
It's only three licks
To the center of this tootsie-pop.
And no, I won't stop.

Your intervention clashes
With my dissension.
So bugger off will you?

It's two-fifty for a two-liter
And a heck of a lot cheaper than blow.