Logophobia

Where are they all? I can't find them, no matter how far I am driven, even if I search where I am told. They seem to be gone. I'm helpless, lonely. Sure some have offered to help, but what help is it if I am still lost?

Now I am secure in my actions, in a place surrounded by people, in the company of one of my closest friends. We're playing video games, but I can't understand how she knows all this. It's crazy, this is something that I'm very knowledgeable about, she can't take that away from me! Still . . . it's strangely comforting. I feel safe in her knowledge, in my own ignorance. My skill grows as I realize this, although we cannot defeat each other. I cannot really say that I know for certain that was our initial intention anyway.

Now I am trapped. The video game, her, and myself have all meshed together into a conglomerate of confusion, exercising its entrapment on me. But I can come and go as I please! Why then do I feel so trapped? Perhaps I have allowed my own entrapment . . . perhaps she will rescue me. My feelings have taken control of me and it is as if I am careening down a highway on a unicycle, unsure even of how to juggle.

There are others, the ones who have captured me and held me prisoner. They are . . . hard to explain. They are worms; they are disgust; they are a vile, gritty, goo, steaming with fell evil and foul contempt. They are so frightening. They could consume me if they wanted, but instead they choose to keep me bound. Am I a lure, am I bait for her? Who can truly say? Still . . . their presence is everywhere, like a film of grease over the walls, and the doorknob, and my hands.

Will I ever be free?