Steadfast
I'm quicker
Than when I run.

When I have
Height advantage
I blot out the sun.

And when I
Instigate the dialogue
There is no stopping the discussion.

Smells Like Coke

She lies,

Crushed, but not fragile
A vessel for
Sweet life
Like a knife through my stomach
And a needle to my mind
She tears my eyelids open

To devour

My thoughts.

Sure she shows
My wake, in throes
Of what I chose
Don't

Even think about it.

I'm not paranoid
Just trying to
Fill the void
Stave the crave
And stop my inner infant
From squirming
While I tighten the noose.

Morbid, right?
Relax.

I've got my fix.
It's only three licks
To the center of this tootsie-pop.
And no, I won't stop.

Your intervention clashes
With my dissension.
So bugger off will you?

It's two-fifty for a two-liter
And a heck of a lot cheaper than blow.

Growing Into Older Eyes, Learning Bigger, Greater Lies

Stings and soothes when in the hand
And bittersweet, when tasted
'Naught so hollow then as now
The thought of life yet wasted.

It follows then that none will know
My thoughts so slowly scavenged
That I in ignorance would share
To teach, to learn, to challenge.

Twas also love that I adored
And lusted for in silence
Sadly, no form of love yet shown
Has hidden all its violence.

To learn of life and death in full
This is the greatest bounty
But there is none that I hate more
Than mythical maturity.

Like so, it stings and burns when held
And poisonous, when tasted
Ne'er so hollow as twill be now
To see my life was wasted.

The Crypt and Keeper

I am eternal,
I am intellectual,
I see the bad ones
From a mile away.

Me? I'm nobody
I say what's on my mind
But I throw myself into
What I do, every day.

You fool, you don't know
What sorrow you sow
The hurt you ignore
Will be yours tomorrow.

Dude, your ego's showing
Besides, I've got passion
I'm nobody's cleric
But I can go with the flow.

Though my mind sees it all
My heart is so blind
I wish just for once
To feel something inside.

I'm tired of hurt
I see only today
And I'm tired, so tired
Of showing when I cry

Please show me your love

Please show me who

I'll love you if you'll

Do the same for me too.

The anticipatin'
Is intoxicatin'
What do I have to do to win, huh?

I'm still waiting for
The sky to burn with fire
From within my eyes
When the whole world will be engulfed in
Furious passion

Effervescent,
Joyous,
Passion.

The Manic Mathematic

It's odd -
When a variable,
Unknown
Is assigned
To it's own
Integer or meaning
It ceases, comes undone

Perhaps I'm insane
Trying to determine
What is beyond my reach
But I believe that

Random
Is
Quantum.

Depression: A Cocktail Best Served Bold

It makes me wonder:

What?
The crossweave of misery and mystery
Like Prozac and
Trans-Atlantic flights to
Skydive into the Olympics.
Or the urge to castrate my dreams with a cubicle
Chemical ends.

Luckily I can now see
What the emo kids must be
When they say to themselves:
"I think I may be in over my life."

Triptych.
Bright hair,
Red lipstick.
Fall gently through my fingers.

Maybe the third time really is the charm.

What Is the Depth of Desperation?

It's the thrill of the cautious defeat,
Painfully taken,
Like blood.

One moment of pain,
For the chance of new life.

Because it is risk
That brings the twist
Of changing fortunes,
Changing winds,
Those breezes brisk.
That bite through boredom
Like a needle pierces the skin.

I'm Back (Deep with Desparation)

Trying to resurrect
I pull myself, frail,
Root by root
Up the canyon wall

But I suspect
That I am vain
And the driver's side reflection
Does my pain
No justice.

So my heel grinds the dirt to powder
And the tremor, the clamor,
Is louder,
Now
It crushes me
And hope seems hardly a happy compromise
I'd rather a solution
Or a shovel . . .

Ambivalence in Poetic Form

In an imperfect world I have no say in
Who lives or dies,
Who sinks or flies
But who rocks the skies?

Who throws the stars?
Like the shadow mars
My empty heart.

There is no perfect hope,
Only the hopeless are worthy.

Yeah I'm scared!
I've got a right to be!
You're so afraid of me
That you can't see what's inside of me.
So let me walk through your heart
Give me the tour,
Once and for all
And quit your stalling
I'm only calling out to you
'Cause I need to know

Is it true?
Can it be done?
Can two separate people
Truly become one?

There is no cruel hate
Only the violent procreate.

So pardon my ferociousness
And I'll throw an anorexic twist
Into the heady readiness
That belies your unsteadiness.

If you'll change your stance
Catch your balance and your breath
Stay focused, think ahead
'Cause I'm high on death

There is no perfect lover,
Only love itself is perfect.

Hey Baby

Don't ask me to address
The nature of my direction.

If only all my stress
Would evaporate with affection.

But instead I take this test
Constant rules like an infection.

Maybe it would be best
To cease my relational dissection.

I don't want to lose,
I just want to love:
But to choose to refuse
Seems the obvious plan
But without love I see
Only pain where I stand.

Please,
Hold my hand.

So Follows the Farewell Ferry

And there's the call,
For the final fall,
A twist, a wrench
A foul stench,
And then the curtain call.

And there's the mission bell,
Heralding the start of hell,
They are too dear
To keep me near
So I carefully choose where I dwell.

And then the crying lamb
That bleats through bleakness grand,
What horror throws
Its painful lows
Until you cannot stand?

It is the teary face
That ends the human race
What games we play
So we might stay
In our feigned creator's grace.

It's hypocrisy
For you and me:
But you and I
Can't explain why,
We show but cannot see.

Sisyphus' Treadmill

I feel like I've run a marathon,
At one-hundred miles an hour.

No rests,
No breaks,
Just twists and loops
On roads like snakes.

Yet at the end of the day,
When I sing my swan song,
To conclude the race,
My triumph in the throng
I don't know how fast,
Or how far,
Or how long.

"A Goodbye and Celebration of What Might Have Been" or "Regret"

How heavy is the kiss goodbye,
For the distant friend,
To usher in the end.

A friend that could have been,
One step closer,
A quaint composer.

Perhaps in her stead,
I'll find solace here,
In the depths of my head,
With my memories dear,

And in fantasies sleep,
Through dreams without end,
That the friend I can't keep,
Is not
On whom
I depend.

Don't jump until I've put out my hand.
Don't cry until I've made you hurt.
Don't dance until your innocence has ended.

And don't forget who I am,
Or what I've done for you.

I'll cry myself to sleep so you won't have to.

Triangle Triage

Darkest flesh of
The cold as we struggled through
The rain, meekest we
Searched for the warm breast
The flash of chest that meant
Life,
In the best of that sense.

Ostrich Head

Child,

Be grateful for
Your family,
Your fate is not starvation.
Don't be

Foolish,

Your love is
Juvenile,
Puerile, and infantile,
But you've got style
That's for

Sure,

You can run away
Still weigh
The options as you

Flee.

Water Waka

Draw closer to the
Water's clear fulmination.

Dread not its passage.
Though the moon glares greedily.

Instead make love to
The calm beauty of the lake.

She rises, she stands
Only when her father turns,
For he, the moon, is jealous.

Fully Appalled by the Reticent Toot

Nothing turns the mind a bit
Like the sound
Of the unwound
When lit.

And no-one reads the earth so profoundly,
Like one who walks its circumference,
Then exhausted sleeps,
So soundly.

And when there is silence,
And the countdown begins,
I choke on my laughter -
For her awkward sin.

She weaves to and fro,
Then, like the clouds, breaks wind.