Logophobia

When I desire to write I find myself assaulted by incoherent phrases, jumbled words and ideas that prevent me from being cohesive in the slightest. Often conciseness overwhelms me, and I attempt to truncate my ideas, rather than fabricate connections between them. What is the source of this dystopia of my mind? Is it a lack of artistic input? Perhaps the overwhelming presence of others prevents me from operating at my full capacity. The holidays are a terrible time, not because they bring joy, or because they bring love, but because they bring people.

People are not the bane of my existence, but there are times when I wish these vociferous strangers would remove themselves from my presence. Even the quiet dead can disturb the practices of the living.

You may interpret these statements as callous or hard-hearted, but the truth is there is a contrast to my rankling social opinions. The deep desire to love those who are close to me is overpowering, like fine incense in an enclosed space. I cannot hate people, for people and I have all the world in common. We live and die together; we are equals. I am no better than my brother, no matter the crimes he has committed, for we are one in this world.

There is a difference, strongly manifested but rarely discussed, between individuals and social groups. Individuals are tolerable, even if they come from the most unkind, unfair, and unpleasant stock. A social group is an abhorrence, even if a delightful group of people. A social group is, after all, comprised of individuals; but individuals subjected to group-thinking are the worst of all. Those individuals carry that group with them wherever they go, effectively sterilizing their intellect, discussion, and behavior. They are sheep, they are lemmings, they are evil incarnate.